Estate planning is a dynamic process that can adapt to different family structures, including blended families who have children from multiple relationships. As with other types of estate planning, the goal is to ensure your specific wishes are communicated before you pass or are unable to make decisions for yourself.

However, while estate planning for blended families relies on the same documents used for all plans, it is inherently more complex, for both legal and emotional reasons.

There are several potential pitfalls for blended families in estate planning when specific wishes aren’t made clear.

To help streamline your estate planning and ensure that your wishes will be known to your blended family, follow these five tips:

1. Don’t assume

Some people think that even without an estate plan, their children will get their assets. Or that a surviving spouse will get everything, and then they can distribute all assets among the children without the need for a plan.

It’s rarely this simple, especially with a blended family. For example, what if your spouse remarries or passes away? Or what if their ideas about how the assets should be distributed among your biological and non-biological children are not consistent with your wishes?

Given the dynamics and specific relationship factors within blended families, the lack of an estate plan can lead to confusion over the distribution of assets, hurt feelings, strained relationships and the possibility of a child being disinherited. It can also lead to a lengthy probate court process to sort all of this out, as the judge and Michigan state law make major decisions for you about asset distribution – which may not be consistent with your wishes.

2. Communicate

To help avoid these types of situations, it’s important to communicate openly with everyone in your blended family, including:

Your spouse: Discuss how you would like your assets – or shared assets, which adds another level of complexity to the process – distributed within your combined family.
Your ex-partner(s): To help ensure that children from each relationship in the blended family are included as part of the overall estate planning discussion.
Your children: Especially after some major decisions have been made, it can be helpful to engage the children (if age appropriate), so that everyone is involved in the process and to help avoid misunderstandings and resentment in the future.

3. Update any existing plan

It’s always a good idea to revisit and review an existing estate plan periodically to ensure that it reflects your current situation and wishes. However, if you or your spouse has an estate plan that was created during a previous relationship, these should also be reviewed.

4. Customize for your blended family

Estate planning is never a one-size-fits-all endeavor, and there are several solutions that can be personalized for the needs of blended families, including:

Will: This document includes detailed instructions on how to distribute your estate’s assets. For blended families, one option is to structure the will so that specific assets are left to specific family members. While this type of document states your preferences, wills must still be validated and approved through probate court.
Trust: A trust gives someone else the authority to handle your assets, until they are passed on to your loved ones who will inherit them. There are several types of trust, each of which can be set up with specific rules for how and when assets should be distributed, and to whom.
Life insurance: Distributions from a life insurance policy typically bypass probate court. Given that this type of insurance also includes a designated beneficiary, this is another tool that you can use to allocate a specific asset to a specific family member.
Other beneficiary accounts: Other types of financial accounts where you can designate a beneficiary include checking and savings as well as individual retirement accounts. There are specific rules to follow and potential tax implications for the recipient for each of these accounts.

5. Determine who’s in charge

For blended families, there are several areas that involve designating someone to make decisions based on your behalf:
Personal representative: In Michigan, this refers to the person in charge of settling and distributing your estate, in accordance with any wishes you’ve communicated through your estate plan.
Trustee: The person you put in charge of your trust. They are responsible for managing the assets within a trust on behalf of your beneficiaries.
Power of attorney: This person, known as the “agent” in Michigan, can make legal, financial and even medical decisions, as specified in your power of attorney documentation.
Guardian: When minor children or children with special needs are involved, a guardian should be specified in the estate plan. While this is one of the most challenging decisions for all parents, it can be even more difficult in blended families given the relationship dynamics. For example, while the goal is to choose the best fit for each child, there are other factors to consider, such as sibling relationships.

Given all of these factors, estate planning for blended families may seem daunting. Fortunately, the estate planning process is adaptable, and there is a solution for every blended family and situation.

5 estate planning tips for blended families